Back to School: Reflecting on Change

Tomorrow will be the first day of school for many students and teachers.  This is a time of year that comes with mixed feelings for many.  While students, parents, and teachers don’t want to say “good-bye” to the carefree days of summer, the return to a routine schedule feels good in some ways…and then there are the Friday night football games, the fall craft fairs, apple pies, and the comfort of a warm sweatshirt on a cool night.


This will be a change, and ready or not, it’s here.  Change is often resisted, yet we usually know that we need change in order to keep moving and growing.  Change means letting go of one thing and allowing something else to take its place.  The ‘letting go’ is important, because it allows room for something new.  Beginnings can make us nervous;  we get anxious about those unknowns ahead.  Yet, beginnings are also a refreshing opportunity to start fresh.


I am at a period in my life where change seems to be the only constant.  I am learning through the uncertainty that the unknowns can be embraced.  I am learning to surrender, and I am learning that it feels good to surrender.  By nature, I like to feel “in control” of things.  But that “control” is only an illusion.  Any moment, things can change in a split second…or they might stay how they are for longer than we think.  We have no answers, and if we spend all of our time asking questions, we miss the brilliance of the present moment.  So going into this year, I’m not thinking too far ahead.  I’m not worrying if I’ll be able to keep up with the new demands of this year.  I’m also not fretting over the things I didn’t fit into my summer…those projects I said I’d get to that never made it into the hours of June, July, and August.  Instead, I’m embracing the present moment, embracing the change, and staying open to noticing how it is all feeling for me.  And right now…I’m noticing that I don’t feel nervous at all.

Doing it Anyway

For quite some time, I’ve considered putting a blog on my website.  It’s been almost a year since I started telling friends, “I think I’m going to start blogging.”

My hesitation centered around two major fears:

1- People might read your blog.

2- People might not read your blog.

Simple.  Contradictory.  The real deal.  Can any of you other bloggers relate?

I acknowledged that my blog would be available to all who travel through cyberspace.  That’s a good thing.  I want my voice to be heard.  But…anyone might be reading what I’ve written:  students I teach at school, those who’ve attended performances I’ve given, friends, the guy who asked me for change at the Farragut North Subway Station, my parents, future employers, people who don’t agree with what I’m saying, the waitress who got my order just right at The Hershey Pantry.  The list goes on.

On the other hand, I’ve been terrified that no one would read my blog…that my writing would be “wasted,” (although I realize that would not be so, as writing almost always helps me make sense of what is floating around in my mind and my heart.)  Yet there was a very real fear that my voice would go unheard, unnoticed;  that would not feel good as I put myself out there, embracing vulnerability.

So…I’ve taken that important step of naming what I’ve been afraid of, and now I intend to release all of that, shake it out, and move forward on this exciting journey.  My friend and fellow musician & InterPlayer Stan Stewart advocates the “feel fear and do it anyway” approach, and that’s what I intend to do.  Thank you for joining me on my journey.  I ask you to please say “hello” and let me know that you’re here.  Comments are most welcome!